Lent, version 2013

Growing up I never sacrificed bad habits for Lent. I was Methodist, and unless I remember incorrectly, there wasn't a lot of stress on the act of giving up a comfort during this season. It wasn't until I became Anglican in 2008 that I started even considering acknowledging Lent. So over the past few years, I'd give up Dr. Pepper, or fast food, or even facebook (which I coincidentally deactivated my account a week ago.. and it has been GLORIOUS!). It wasn't until recently that I learned that Lent wasn't just about giving up something I enjoyed or something that made me comfortable, but it was about giving up (or taking on) something in order to get closer to God. I think in the past, I thought I should suffer, because Christ suffered for me. But this year, this season of Lent means so much more to me.
This year I gave up movies. You might think this is silly. I know Father Thomas wouldn't think it's silly. The reason I chose to give up movies is simple. I've developed this nasty habit of avoiding really living. That probably sounds dramatic, but you have to know that I'm really, really serious. Sometimes, life gets so hard, or stressful, or chaotic, that at the end of the day, when we get home, we just want to sit on the couch and turn our brains off. Working in a restaurant, this is true for me. Standing on my feet all day and using my creative brain muscles for 7 hours straight, makes me very, very tired. So I come home, get on facebook for 45 minutes, watch a movie, eat some dinner that is probably cereal, catch up on some It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, get back on facebook and then go to bed. I use all of these things as distractions, because  for whatever reason (I know the reasons), I just don't want to listen to the noise in my head. So I decided to give up movies. I put my netflix on hold. To be uncomfortable. To be forced to find something more productive to do with my time. To wash my dishes, and keep my house clean, and make some art, and to read and pray.
I also decided to take on something this year. This concept is also pretty new to me. But this year, I decided to take on exercising every day. This is huge for me. This will, in fact, ensure that I am suffering. Just kidding. But really. Every day I will either walk, hike, do yoga, swim, lift weights, or do some other form of cardio at the gym. Rain or Shine. One reason I want to take this on, is because I feel like exercise will truly help me emotionally (as well as physically). But more importantly, I hope to take a lot of walks outside, because that's when I feel at peace, and am the most reflective and prayerful. I want to give myself some time to really listen. I hope that taking the time to go on a walk or hike or to stretch will really help with my spiritual life. I have no idea what to expect, and I'm excited.
I should mention, every year I've given something up, I've failed. I cheated or just gave up because I thought it didn't matter. But this year I can say, with my whole heart, I fully intend to see this season through. Obviously, I can do anything with God behind me. And obviously I know that if I should fail, I am no less loved or valued. But I'm going to try really, really, really hard not to watch movies and to exercise every day. But mostly, because of these things I'm doing or not doing, I'm going to try really, really, really hard to hear what God might want to tell me.